Ex Dee 3: In Pursuit of Yuji Naka!
Hark, the herald angel sing! It's time for another piece of that magical pie known as the "Ex Dee" series, and so, it's time for a small recap of previous events. Of course, Ex Dee 2 should still be fresh in your young minds anyway, right?
In an effort to bring justice, and Naka boobpix, to the Sonic community, the mighty Sonic CulT had embarked on a mission to Sega of Japan HQ, in order to finally recover the lost Sonic the Hedgehog archives! (Except Dust Hill, because no one gives a rusted Manatee's testicle about that now, do they?) After a ferocious battle with the seemingly unstoppable Yuji Naka, all hope seemed lost. No, he didn't subject the CulT to the Sonic 3D Blast Genesis special stages, but rather, set about detonating his own base in an effort to finally destroy the CulT and any remaining trace of articulate Sonic community members, while running off with the sacred archives!
We rejoin our heroes in the thick of the destruction, as they hurtle back towards the prized DICKTRASH SPACEMOBILE XD2000 to give chase to the evil Naka! Fuelled by rage caused by atrocities such as Hill Top Zone, the CulT wouldn't be defeated so easily!
In a mass explosion of unsold Knuckles' Chaotix cartridges, and Sega Saturn Devkits, the Sega of Japan HQ went kaboom. And with that, the CulT zoomed off to chase after the tyrannous Naka.
Meanwhile however, another untold evil was plotting something malicious...
Hmm? This doesn't sound too peachy, no sir.
Hold on a minute. Moogle and SClassic? Didn't the CulT spank them earlier?
Oh dear. Naughty, naughty Jan.
Back in space, the DICKTRASH SPACEMOBILE XD2000, powered by the might of Beta's FTP, had caught up with Yuji, who was quickly losing his patience with the persistent CulT. With a cry of "American Bastards!", Naka unleashed a devastating attack.
With a mighty flash, the DICKTRASH SPACEMOBILE XD2000 was drained of its power, and was sent careening down to a nearby planet! Had Yuji finally managed to knock the CulT off his tail?
One would think so. Having been stranded on this planet, which appeared to be the bastard lovechild of Palmtree Panic and Emerald Hill, the CulT seemed marooned.
Just as everything looked grim (with the wonderful exception of Stoko's rack), Nemesis, in his ever discovering ways, had found something rather startling in the bushes of this jungle. It had appeared Yuji Naka, complete with the archives, had also drained his power, and crash-landed also, when he used all of his remaining energy to be rid of the CulT. That'll teach him to underestimate the cosmic power of a VMU's battery draining abilities!
Naka, in this predicament, had no choice but to make peace with the CulT. It wasn't too long before Naka had transgressed to the CulT ways.
At last! All would be as one in the world of Sonic the Hedgehog! Omg! Bukkake! Draw pic plz!
However, just as Yuji was about to open the sacred archives for the glazed-eyed CulTists, the sky turned a horrid shade of black. What was going on? Who else was here?
Oh dear lord no! It was King Jan Abaza, and his new pet crossbreed of SClassic, The Moogles, and Area51! The SCOOGLE MK.51! He had tracked down the CulT, and was going to destroy them all while running off with Yuji and the archives!
A(nother) battle erupted, as the CulT attempted to keep the SCOOGLE MK.51 away from Naka-san. He may have tried to blow them all up like Sonic X-Treme in the past, but he was still the daddy of Sonic!
However, who was paying attention to King Jan?
Blast it! Jan had sneakily captured Naka and the archives!
Jan laughed a laugh so high a pitch it put Amy's VA to shame. Everything seemed to be falling into place for the wicked King.
Boo! That King Jan is one rotten apple! What will happen to our beloved Sonic CulT? Will King Jan turn the world into his mindless slaves? Can Naka actually help to create a game worse than Sonic Blast for the Game Gear? I guess you'll have to spam Trigger to find out.
Let's just hope the CulT can keep the SCOOGLE MK.51 at bay in the mean time!
Things aren't looking too bright for the CulT, however, Ex Dee must close its doors for the time being, much to the disappointment of our great friend and wholesome psychobitch; Celine Dion.
Hoho.
Until next time children, Trigger loves you all.
Concept taken from the original No Jam! By Sinizuh