Ex Dee 6: Ambushed!
Come one, come all! Uncle Trigger has more to tell you. Today, another page in the book of Ex Dee is read to you, whether you like it or not. I hope that you fondly remember Ex Dee 5, but odder things have happened before. Reguardless, you're going to read this and like it.
Continuity is a bitch. A real motherfucking bitch. And now, continuity is MY bitch.
As we left off, Yuji Naka, L0st, and King Jan were locked in a box at SoJ's headquarters. I proclaimed that the Ex Dee "Archives" saga had come to a close, but someone out there didn't want to believe me...
Could it be? The series that brought so much joy and entertainment to CulT had been abandoned? No, I'd never do that.
What Ryoga didn't know was that the person on the other side of the line wasn't me...
It was none other than SShadowSuper, imitating my voice!
No one knew this, however, and before Ryoga could find me to find out the truth, I found myself having fallen right into SShadowSuper's trap.
He knew my weakness was giant space ferrets. Disabled by the cuteness, I was an easy capture.
Back at CulT, my lover wasn't taking my sudden disappearance all too well.
SirB wasn't the only one losing his wits, as SShadowSuper sent in mass ammounts of n00bs to try and bring down #cult. Everyone was feeling the pain of mass ammounts of concentrated stupidity.
With #CulT parylized, SSS finally unleashed the main part of his plan. He had built an army of all the n00bs of GameFAQs, SClassic, IGN, and even Ragnarok Online to overwhelm SCARZ with useless posts of sonic fanfiction and bad artwork! Luckily, the CulT Family had a backup plan.
Immediately after the attack began, the Family sought shelter in ICEknight's Giant Ass-Kicking-Robot. The records were also safely secured. From the new, n00b-proof base of operations, the counter-attack at SSS' legions began.
With the release of the Sonic Negroes came the signal for the CulT troops to retaliate in full force. It was a brilliant show, although I didn't get a chance to see it. Heard about some of the highlights, though...
Meanwhile, I wasn't faring off too well. I awoke after being mauled by the space ferret to find myself in my own private hell. Oh the horror...
Luckily, all hope was not lost. For just outside, a crack team of Sonic CulT ninjas had infiltrated SSS' main base of operations to save me. I knew I must hold out at least a while longer. However, what both they and I didn't know was the horror that was guarding my cell...
SShadowSuper had pulled out all the stops. He had ressurected Jimmy, the worst artist ever to graze cult! Alas! SShadowSuper thought of everything!
However, there was one secret weapon even SSS hadn't thought of, the only thing more powerful than raw stupidity. Pure bitching power. The CulTists sent in their own secret weapon, WoK!
As jimmy was being forced to dance, the crack commandos rushed past him and grabbed me from the cell. Being held in their hands was like a dream.. er.. anyway, we were just about to escape, when...
Alas! Jimmy had gone beserk from one too many times of dancing 'Thriller'! In a maniacal fervor jimmy persued us, tearing up absolutely everything in his path. Thankfully, we still had a backup plan.
Jimmy was finally removed from existance in a gline from the universe. The travesty that was his art would never terrorize innocent minds ever again. People could sleep again. While we were racing back to CulT to stop SSS, however, he made his move.
The outlook at CulT was grim. SSS was about to open the portal to re-release the SCOOGLE MK.51 back upon the universe, when something he didn't predict occured. The doors to the CulT forums were thrown wide open, and everyone turned to look...
I had returned! The CulT troops were thrown into a fervor as I stole the sword from SSS's hands. He knew he was in for it now, and thus, ran like a pussy.
SSS, making a hasty retreat in his flying fortress, had no idea what was about to happen. All fights one starts, one must finish! There was no running away after trying to bring down the CulT! The CulT troops went into a frenzy, and launched the Green Egg fighters to persue SSS!
With a flurry of fighters, the CulTists re-inacted Sonic Wars on SSS's wimpy ass. It was a brilliant show of total slaughter. I was watching from below, but the scene was beautiful when SSS realized the inevitable...
Crashing back into the forums, SSS raised his head just in time to see PACHUKA standing above him. In one last scream, SSS felt the bitter taste of defeat.
SSS was soon taken to trial, much to his dismay and the joy of fellow onlookers.
And so, SSS was sentenced to a lifetime of silence. He would have protested, but he had something else to suck on for a while. Meanwhile...
Like none of you saw that coming. There was more on the CulTists minds then the newly found romance, however...
Concept taken from the original No Jam! By Sinizuh